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Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Journey From Loneliness to Solitude

Here student loan consolidation faq sit waiting for something to happen, anything. The phone to ring, a visitor Noeyegne even a stray cat that wanders onto my front porch looking for some attention or a handout.

How did I get here?
Why am I here?
What's next?
Does anyone care?
Does someone care?

The days pass slowly filled with needless tasks and wasted time and the nights drag on while I wait for the dawn to finally end my search. The sun rises and then it all begins again. I fill the quiet pain of each day with music hoping that this nightmare and aching emptiness will soon end. But it never does. A new day begins and the loneliness continues, no it's worse than it was the day before. Will it be worse so tomorrow? I hope not, I'm not sure how much more of this I can stand.

I watch, waiting for the flowers to grow and the trees as they slowly blossom as the season changes. The season of my life is changing, but I'm now sure where or how it will end. Do I even care anymore?

I know that life is filled with uncertainty. I have read the books, listened to the CD's and attended the seminars that preach independence, success, inspiration and growth. I know, because I have written many of them myself and I have preached these messages to audiences worldwide.

I have given advice and counsel and now it's time to listen to my own inner voice. But the pain and the emptiness won't let me.

Ever been there? There now? I know your struggle and I feel you're hurting. We are kindred spirits, you and I cause I've been there.

You wait for the promise of a kind word, a friendly smile or love that seems so far far away. You're afraid that if you spend too much time in this state that love may pass you by without even so much as a nod.

Your essence keeps telling you to be patient and to trust. Your mind keeps telling you that when every door closes another one opens. You want to scream "shut up" to your mind. And your heart longs for a loving voice, a tender exorcism and a smile that says someone cares.

But even your mind, heart and essence are losing their patience. So, maybe you are losing this battle after all.

Except, you know deep inside that your soul and your spirit will never give in. They will never let you give up hope. And they will never abandon you no matter how deep the pain or how long the struggle. When will it end?

You sit alone and wonder. Should you leave your loneliness and wander the mall hoping to find a friendly soul out there somewhere who can ease your aching heart?

It seems like forever that the silence in and around you have captured your dreams for the hope of a better life. You ask again and again, what is a better life? What will your life be like tomorrow? Or, the day after that? More of the same or will this endless silence ever end?

I know that life is filled with isolation and waiting, silence and uncertainty, new beginnings and adventure and opportunities and laughter but for now you wait, anticipate and yearn for something, anything.

And it doesn't matter if you are living alone or with the noise and emotional clutter of a spouse, children or in-laws.

This is loneliness at its deepest core, but with time and growth, it can and will lead to solitude.

Loneliness is not about who you are around or is with you on your life journey. It is injury compensation claim an inside issue. By this I mean that until you come to terms with your inner silence the outer noise will never make up for this internal mental lack.

Solitude is when you look forward to the quiet private moments. They are a time of reflection and growth. They, with time, will become your treasured moments, ones that you will never want to lose again no matter how busy or successful you become. In solitude you are still alone, but you love the quiet. In solitude you grow and become rather than feel sorry for yourself and whine. In solitude you learn; about life, yourself, your dreams and your desires.

If you are making that slow journey from loneliness to solitude, relax and know that once you have come to terms with your aloneness that life can be nothing but better each and every day and a wonderful adventure filled with joy and peace. Welcome the journey. Embrace the journey. And, please, don't rush the journey.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; Soft Sell, That's Life, Peace Of Mind, 81 Challenges Managers Face and Your First Year In Sales. He is also the CEO of Professional Sales Association Of America. He can be reached at mailto:tim@timconnor.com">tim@timconnor.com, 704-895-1230 or visit his websites at www.timconnor.com">www.timconnor.com or www.Soldbook.com">www.Soldbook.com